Aaaaaahhhhh !

* Its 1:12 am and I feel horrible

* Sometimes I wonder if everyone feels this way, if everyone wonders why they’ve compromised themselves into what they are.

* Why decisions are momentary and many a times do not lack depth.

* Why women can turn things around and you would still want to walk the line without a thought and action (Read the above point for proof)

* Conviction, independent thinking may not always help, stupidity does most of the times, even if it means you’re on the other side of the scale.

* Why things do not last for all time, If they did, things would be so different, If they did not, things would still be so different.

* Patience is a virtue, impulsiveness is a sin !

* Sometimes always means all the time !

* One’s life is always controlled by the actions and thoughts of the others, suprisingly one is not as independent as one thinks he is, he is always independent of himself and dependent on everything and everyone else around.

* Brilliant dialogues have always been run in frames atleast a thousand times, or else people would not have created situations to say them, if people did not have to, there would’nt have been such amazing screen play’s.

* Spell check’s are probably one of the most irritating things.

* Dilbert is the universal mascot of human beings, sooner or later one realises, it is he himself that is in the cartoon strip.

* Why isnt there a word called “pre-pone” ?

* Often always, there is stupidity that when dealt unpacks more stupidity which is welcome, intellect on the other hand is a self reducing annuity that one can never measure through . ..

* Change, is first and foremost reflected in your music tastes, it is then percolated to everything else.

* Three is company and two can be a crowd !

* Happiness can trickle down from anywhere, usually from the corner, where there’s no light to look or from the place which you would not want to look.

* Blog’s do not exist as a medium of expression, they exist to let one know of the nice things that one has missed and one would be missing.

* All it takes is a second to get things back to normal, but to cling on is the human right and we exercise it fully and completely.

* Questions do not intimidate people, it is answers that do.

* The fear of failure does not make sense, its the truest sense of belief in failing that does.

* People one is with, are the direct consequence of the people one didn’t want to be with.

* Even the river isnt endless, neither is the act of being jealous, death does not take away the desire, well, all of us need and all of us always want what we always want, but if you wanted it always and still dont have it, maybe you would never have it.

* The right person, the right thing, the right thought, the right action never exist, all that exists is you and the stupidity quotient which can tilt the scales of the insanity balance.

Sleepless !

The last day of my first year in the hostel has been pretty eventful, Mittal and Sagar left to Chennai, Sunny and me went to the railway station to send them off, the whole night, actually its not even morning now, its just 5am and I dont know what in the world am i doing burning 2 sets of Prison Break DVD’s, one for Sunny and one for Eric Samuel, operating 5 laptops at one time is not easy specially when you have to decide the Ip’s for the lan that has been made for data transfer and what not, now Im left with three, 2 different one’s than the one’s I had before, it was all a mess, i mean so many computers can freak you out, my eyes draw themselves within and I might not see things clearly as i did before, watching Oceans Eleven kinda helped and Im ok with it. Leaving back home, packing it all and giving DVD’s to people like memories might not be the best way to keep oneself in the memory of the others, its the craziness that makes  one have a good brand recall, well, end of it all, people are flying to Germany, I’m in deep debt, love the word when it ’s in Financial Management text book.

Currently playing No Doubt – Dont Speak, i like this song for no particular reason, I dont know, feels weird, feels nice to know that some one has this song and I’m glad listening to this song, next is Layla by Eric Clapton, whatever it could possibly be, it is and now it does not make sense at all. Not to me at all, no matter what way you take, you end up on MG and when you dont you’r either in the hostel or in a prison or worse in college.

End of year 1

And im scared.

An other year now and then into the world of imbeciles.

What else can one except out of organizations that mint money.

Good luck to the seniors.

Better luck to me !

???

I dont like doing it all, but then there are things one learns and wants to implement, you cannot not be serious if you do not shout.

Money, money and money.

Prison Break is getting boring.

I dont mind not being home.

People talk about people to know about people and talk more about people.

Its ok, not everyone is comfortable with you around.

My Personality Type

Pretty interesting and True

2 days and back to Bangalore, blog will be up and running again.

In Hyderabad

Back home, things feel much different, I now have a wireless mouse and keyboard, Microsoft seems to have done something nice for a change, the car’s been maintained pretty well, my room’s still the same, the weather is like on the parallel axis of what it is in Bangalore, It’s hot like hell and people in Delhi are enjoying 0.2 Degree Celcius, been couple of days since i’ve come back home, seen Taare Zameen Par, the first day, first show, its been such a long time since i did that, Vasu’s the man, he knows when to get tickets and to where and to whom all. It feels just like home, the environment, the weather, the car, home, internet connection, the warm bed, the room in itself stands independent, its like me sitting over the bed and doing nothing but sitting. I remember the days when we used to rush to college – VITS, and how it all used to be, by 7:30 used to rush off home with either the car or the bike to partner the 28Km distance every single time you want to travel and then there used to be calls, pick-up’s, ignoring the necessary sometimes, it used to be fun, so much fun that sometimes i sit in my Hostel room and do nothing but recollect one whole day, thats the part of my favourite days in VITS memory sieve.

Being back home has some advantages and some disadvantages, you could sit at home and do all that you want but you can not let the necessary smoke to let itself out from the place where you sit, you need to come back home in time, tell dad the prospective time of return and then stick to it cos its home and most importantly, just be there for all the possible time. At home, there’s mom and dad and sometimes sis to be with you, there are always the times when you recollect the old days and then laugh like nuts, i mean laugh like you heard it for the first time, you’r the precious’est part of the house since your home after a long time, its been a month exactly this day, the last time i was here i flew to and fro and it didnt make any sense to me, the serive providers did good job, specially the one i took to get back to Bangalore anyways, this time I was the precious customer of the honourable Indian Railways, the journey was awesome, considering the fact i came with Srujan, the really nice about-to-turn-6-tomorrow-kid who did throw a lot of insight on cartoons and saw Lion King on my laptop till his time for dinner.

Anyways, the worst part of coming back home is writing the NCFM examination on 24th, writing the AMFI Module, God Save Me.

Pit Stop !

The creative mind seems to have lost its existence all of a sudden, with the exception of an elite few, people across have ceased to believe that a part of themselves is creatively active and functioning. Advertisements affirm the faith that there are still people who think and people who try to understand what other people think. Maybe, this is management, knowing what you should think and understanding what others are thinking and acting accordingly, with management virtually infringing onto our lives, everyday is just another experience for the un-experienced. The mood swings of the stock market, acquisitions of the weak and mergers of the strong, brand ambassadors and cat walks and finally no Monday meetings. It seems evolution has its own repercussions, for its own benefits though. There has been a sudden void in the leader’s section all across India and the world, I can’t seem to remember the last person who’s not been a politician or an industrialist and been a leader of sorts. Probably few years down the line mechanized leaders made by markets surveys would be on sale in general markets. Today on an average a management student spends at least forty five minutes on stock market simulators per day but fails to question himself if it’s the FMCG companies that have totally neglected the rural areas where the income of an individual is surprisingly equal to an urban employee’s income after all the necessary cuts. Its funny but its true, we remember to forget things that seem to make an impact on the way we think and act, glued to the essential business paper, we seem to have lost ourselves in numbers, theories and worse, lies. The assumption of every good manager I suppose is “Improve the existing and exploit the unused” its time to also add “Negate, relate and Innovate” Its time we’ve moved above the third rung of the ladder which sadly touches the floor, with software coolies being the order of the day and the firms spreading their wings across the employability radar and recruiting people like never before, I doubt if there’s still room for creativity, I doubt if people can be normal as ever, perpetually staring at the digital thrash.

Eventually its “The Management” that’s responsible, is what the media shouts day in and day out, but isn’t it you and me who make up that body, isn’t it you and me who would frame a policy to make ends meet, probably till date there’s not been an opportunity but learning management my friends gives you one opportunity to hold the bull by its horns. I hope all of you don’t eclipse the manager in you with Technicolor dreams and fat green bills, there’s always more to you, all you need to do is to question and seriously worry if you don’t find an answer!

*An article i wrote for the college festival Ushus, magazine, hopefully it’ll serve the purpose* 

The Rain

Capturing the rain in Bangalore is an art in itself, it never rains here, it pours, the long sleazy arms of women caress the cool air surrounding, bikes halt at ditches and never seem to move, men dressed in formals riding bicycles tend to zoom past the signal and yell at you for following the rules. Traffic lanes make no sense, cars kiss each other and wish they were like that for long, the interiors of the car cool up and the glasses darken up with the moisture letting the creativity of the kids inside run wild and square. Edges of pants fly on the surface of the waters always running in the opposite direction of where you want to go, roads go berseck, trees dance to disperse their shade towards the city and onto the buildings damp with love of the paints. The bikers club race to joints with water and wetness effectively proving their love for the fast lane through dim light headlights and absence of cops. For being clean, Gods send these blessings to disrupt the lives of the mortals. The dirt on the streets embraces the wrath of their doom and flow till the point of no return.

Christ College loves the rain, girls dress up prettier, wear shawls that drap around their shoulders like warmth of love, the street in here fills up with random rain drops, trees doing their thing too, guys walk on corners, girls talk on corners, the stadia are filled like always, Heat unevenly spreads across in the kiosk with coffee’s spilling, the tar on the road absorbs the rain and shines through the darkess, the sun which shows up now and then, kills the moisture on skin, marble footsteps stained with mud, crackling under one’s feet and always getting carried till doormats. The Hostel’s affected in its own way, visits cease, phone calls get longer, fan speeds are cursed, lights shut quicker, abuses hurl and collapse, food gobbled for sleep, clothes left wet, kitchen stinks of the memories, the bathroom’s lonlier, shadows scramble across the remaining light, parks with people with dogs, wait and wait, Professors slip by in multi technological cars, classmates walk by, electricity sparks out and the outsides buzz.

We know without Knowing, See without Seeing !

Eventually its all about the people, its all about the numbers, the worst part is these days people are also number, they are either referred by head-count or parking space occupancy rate, either ways, the spirit of being an entrepreneur has just been cherished by my fellow mentees, my group for Current Affairs, presided by Professor Ghadially Zoher, has its own uniqueness, there are sacrifices made and there are finance fuck-up’s on the centre stage in front of prospective investors when your plan has been filtered and you have been honoured to sit with people who could probably invest in your plan and fail to understand how the profits are double the sales in the balance sheet, the finance department, thinks and thinks and re-thinks, but then again, we’re not situational-entrepreneurs, I’m learning to be one.

CCIM is not what it seems, it’s pretty dull, mundane, its pretty bad to believe your in a place like this where all you can boast about is the plush green surroundings, wanna be writers, people singing acoustic versions of metal tracks with female vocals and females, yeah! the females, Christ College is a farce, all it has is humongous population of females which makes the guys and some girls want to come here to experience the experience. The fashion never seems to end, the (Now Playing : Bloodbath – Breeding Death \m/) fabrics never seem to fade when in comes to innovation, innovation we say is the need of today, innovation we believe, is the most needed thing of the hour, be it the newest see-me-all-for-free-clothes-of-women or be in terms of service or in terms of originality. Jalebi Management, I hear, is absolutely delicious, it will make your mouth water but heck, no marketing will convince me to purchase it, even if it means Mr Shobit Sengupta himself is in Christ College addressing issues like innovation through his book when his shallowness showed up in front of the audience which said loud and clear, “buy my book I like the fact that its climbing the charts, I like the fact Mr Azim Premji launched it with vigour and I can make brilliant presentations as my company’s name is Shining and I can relate art to world war II and I think my French’ness came with my birth”

CCIM is not what it seems, it’s a decent place it’s a place where you would want to sit one fine day comfortably looking at the football ground and do nothing but watch the game, do nothing but think nothing, do nothing but hold your crossed feet together and tell yourself the rain wont hurt you, the coat is costly and your glad your wearing it, do nothing but put your hand across the emptiness which has been there all through but you could not see it through, do nothing but see the kids run to glory kicking a ball into the net, do nothing but feel happy that the wind is blowing, the direction wont bother you, the fact that it is blowing or not surely does. CCIM is a wonderful place they respect the kids freedom a lot so they don’t let them have it at all, end of the day all we have to work is for ourselves, duties don’t mean a thing, its love that makes sense, love that makes me drive myself to think and write this.

If only we knew without knowing and see without seeing !

Formal clothes and Laptops

So here we are, things moved as usual and nobody knew it would end up this way, a card, 8 friends come to wish me the best of everything on the planet with the occasional phone ringing, things didn’t change a bit the willingness to leave the town always made me hazy, what it was and why it existed, people said they knew, I did not for some reasons, its kind of difficult to say it all or probably type it in mediums like this, mom, says, I don’t know what mom says, I’ll miss her so much, that words if put in here, could probably drench the whole document of its virtual strength and drag it to madness.

It probably feels home in here, so far so good, like Mr Chandrashekhara put it in his own words, any more genuine questions ?

Assuming all the possibilities that could happen, the first out of them would probably be getting called “you bloody joker” when all you could do is listen to it out of sympathy and tell yourself you would love to be a joker than anything else at that moment, the way things have worked around in CCIM, I’m actually pleased that nothing wrong has ever happened and all things still hang in the air, looking to get tagged with an emotion called meaning, the back to school thing looks to happen with a new induced energy that could possible help people bond better, now, I don’t know if I can say this, but then again, CCIM, as a B-School, has its own charms and agonising points to be taken care of, we’re not in a place where things will just come to us, so all you could do is take things to places where we want to go. The play called sholay tells people about the new found love of basanti blossomed in form of irresistable gabber, I don’t know if people will accept this and since I wont say this is the best of everything that’s about to come, im not bothered how at the end it will all look, as per me, in terms of the director of the show, I want it to work, I want people to laugh and say its funny like hell.

I wonder what is it I want to do being in CCIM, honestly I don’t have a clue, a little talk with somu actually helped me think about what is it that I want out of life, I thought what would a career actually mean, one thing was for sure, just like me he wanted to do things his way, he would resign what ever job he would have and think about what to do next, where does he have to go to see his dreams blurred, the problem with dreams is, they seem close, they seem real, they seem just an arm length away and once u start working towards them, u actually know how blurred they are and how tuff it is to cope with things that u never thought existed. I don’t know why I write this now and then and most importantly why I named it again and again. Things happened and will happen for all of us, everyone gets placed and everyone will have a good life, but then is it all why we’re here or is it something that we are actually looking to, are we searching for something that we actually want or is it just an illusion that people have left behind for us to pursue. Honestly I have not yet touched any of my soiled clothes and I don’t want to, I want to forget that things are waiting to be done and believe they will be eventually or probably in due course of time, I want to believe that far somewhere there is actually an evening where I would come home, greet/meet people, walk to my room, put a don’t-disturb sign and listen to music or watch a good movie. I want to believe that some day I would not have to make way for someone just like me who would get confused all day long and in the end say, there’s always a next day. There’s hope and will always be, hope is a good thing, hoping to not loose your vision is an other thing all together, being alone helps and being yourself helps better, you realise you just need 3 hours of sleep, you realise you can actually live the way it was meant to be.